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Quotes

Here are a few quotes that I've come across, either from movies, TV, radio, books, magazines or newspapers. They may be funny, insightful or whatever.

"You appear to be intelligent, but then you open your mouth and the effect is spoiled." What Planet Are You From?


"The King is in his countinghouse, counting all his money" Sing a Song of Sixpence (nursery rhyme)


"You will answer directly to me, and whatever crimes I commit against you, remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries, including Puerto Rico." Princess Diaries 2


"Come on! He's one guy! And he's French!" Ocean's Twelve


"Would ya look at the size of that kid's head! It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system! Looks like an orange on a toothpick! I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Aye, now that was offsides, now wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow." So I Married an Axe Murderer


A truck driver gets his truck got stuck under a bridge and cannot get it out. The local cop who shows up to take the report, after some basic questioning, asks, "So, is your truck stuck?" The driver looks at him, looks back at the rig and then back to him and says, "No, I'm delivering this here bridge." Here's your sign. (Reworded) Bill Engval, Stand-Up Comedian


"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." Former Prime Minister Jean Chrétien (on finding no Iraqi weapons of mass destruction) Listen!


"Your Excellencies, Prime Minister, Chefs des parties d'Opposition, Justices of the Supreme Court of Canada, Members of the Cabinet, Honorable Deputés, Senators et Senatrices, distinguished members of the Press Gallery, madames et monsieurs, good evening. [Pause] Peter Newman, go fuck yourself. Thank you, good night." Former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney Listen!